I was there, sitting…

I was there, sitting in a corner of your life, observing your comings and goings, your painful falls, your leaps of joy and hope.  I was there, sitting in a corner of your life, observing you live as a small child, cry like an adult, suffer like a human being… 

I saw your solitude, I would have liked to be your brother.  I would have liked to know everything about you, to understand you, to accompany you, to listen to you, to speak to you…  I would have wanted to feel you, to feel you deeply, to forefeel you.  I was sitting in a corner of your life, sad for your sadness, powerless… strong out of my love.  I would have liked to be your brother.  I saw your solitude. 

I was sitting and I saw your prayers, I heard them without always having understood them.  You did not talk about yourself expect through others: you prayed the poor, the oppressed, the abandoned.  You prayed them as much as you prayed for them.  I was sitting in a corner of your life, I saw your solitude… I would have liked to be your brother. 

A stranger… that does not like what the people like and that the people end up liking.  It was this teaching, of course, and we loved you so, so much… and your solitude.  I prayed to understand, cried of not grasping.  I observed your comings and goings sitting in a corner of your life

A passer-by.  You were a passer-by, a brother, a friend.  I knew nothing of your pains, nothing of your joys, nothing of your wounds.  Nothing of you.  I was sitting in a corner of your life, I would have liked to be your brother and I met your solitude… I remembered the hermit’s story who knew and said nothing.  That companion of Moses who refused the questions. He taught him patience and humility, the question without the response, togetherness and solitude, doubt and certainty, love and detachment… 

I was sitting in a corner of your life, I observed you.  I had a thousand question, you had but one answer.  I wanted to speak, you were speaking the silence.  You were so near and yet so far.  I looked for your being and you taught me the meaning.  Saint Augustine distinguished between two sufferings; you taught me two loves.  I liked not knowing how to love you for I learned to love beyond this love. No one is enough for anyone, isn’t it?…  In a corner of your life, I observed this love.

You loved.  I loved you.  I observed your prayers, I leaned closely to the whispers: We ask You for Your Love, the love of those whom You love, deeds which will allows us to attain Your Love… and you cried and you smiled.  I was sitting in a corner of your life, I would have liked to be your brother, I saw your solitude, I liked your freedom. 

I liked your strength and I pray that He welcomes your fragility.  No one, ever, is enough for anyone.  I remained there, sitting, in a corner of your life.