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Second Menu

“Her voice in her words” By Sumeera Nisar

 

“All opinions are that of the author and not necessarily those of the website that it is published under.”

If I was incapable of feeling fear all together, I would end up thrashing every guy who winks, leers, stares, tries to touch me, and sings songs and the likes. Most times I give them threatening glare to back off and at times shout but if I were completely fearless then I would end up restoring to violence and breaking their very jaw or beating the daylights out of them. But most of the time my fear is due to the concern about safety that  ideologues of my culture which raised me has ingrained deep till inside my bones, she said.

Eve teasing… does it ring a bell? Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? Probably yes, if you are a female. The issue of eve teasing has gained immense attention from people in the past few years. Women are subjected to this social evil irrespective of the fact that they might belong to any caste, race or creed. A lewd stare, a sly whistle, a well-timed clap, an unwarranted bump, a seemingly casual touch, a lingering look at a vulnerable time, cheap gestures, the humming of a suggestive song, passing downright crude comments, bikes flying close with hands stretched to grope you!! Yes, eve teasing can take any form. And the ways an eve teaser can harass a woman is surely endless! But what inculcates men to eve tease? Is it a tradition or social evil? Why must women suffer?  Is it all about some sadistic pleasure that men try to derive out of a woman? And why? No answer can justify this horrendous crime. The enormity of eve teasing is far venomous than other social crimes.

The attack on Eve is real. Violence against women is widespread and universal, though it may vary from culture to culture. Eve teasing is an awful act that injects shame, fear, disgust and helplessness in the victim. I don’t think it would be wrong if I say that eve teasing has become an inseparable part of every girl’s life. Eve teasing is a common incident, be it in buses, shopping arcades, restaurants, bus stops, railway booking counters and every other conceivable place.

A considerable amount of literature has been published regarding the impacts of eve-teasing on the psychological and emotional aspects of health, still there seems a gap—something is missing—oh yes—stories are told, heard but nature of pain and suffering isn’t defined yet. Teasers hardly know about ugly diseased, pale, and crummy face, exceedingly nebulous, abrasive and abhorrent behavior, rampant, scary, dastardly violence…there vicious remarks, and virulent actions…leaves deep unbearable wounds in her heart, soul and minds. World has rudimentary knowledge about women and her sufferings thus can’t understand the nature of that pain…!!! She hated her life, she hated her society, she hated her surroundings, she hated these men, and how could they do that? How could they be so cruel? They ruined her life, They broke her dreams, Her simple wishes of life, All her thoughts had changed, All on a sudden she felt,
Her so called heaven, This so called lovely earth, Not for her to survive, She can’t forbear this,
hiding herself from these, these ugly faces, these eve teasers, these fake judgments and these society and social systems—just want to know where should she find her solace!!!
She is becoming a victim and it’s not a good feeling to acknowledge this but Yes sadly, she become used to eve-teasing. But hey, that doesn’t mean she don’t protest or try to at least. She had become so used to it that she is somewhat reluctant to sit beside a man in a train or stand in front of a guy on a jam-packed bus. What if, he touches my waist? What if he grabs my thigh or even worse, what if he touches any other sensitive part of my body!

Furthermore, if a guy teases a girl, the guy isn’t questioned or given appropriate punishment for his demeaning act. On the contrary, fingers are pointed on girls Couture, her attitude, etc. They are advised to remain silent, let the matter be or some even go ahead saying the girl must have encouraged it. This very treatment is given to both a burqa clad girl and a modern girl who wears body hugging clothes.
The females do not want to be an object of desire for the eve teasers. It’s disgusting. But societal norms and ethics would never voice against this practice. It may appear paradoxical that the very people (men) who eve teases are the very people (men) who are the protectors of their own families. They forget that this could happen to their own mothers, wives or daughters too.

Teasing and harassment can be seen from another perspective. Like many psychologists believe that love or fun is not the only motive that men indulge in this behavior. Eve teasing is closely related to the patriarchal mindset of the male. Men are raised to believe that they are more powerful physically and emotionally than women. They feel that they are doing nothing wrong just having some fun. Women on the other hand are made to feel vulnerable and the weaker sex. Living within the paradoxically complex nostrums and patriarchal social setup, which describes her some under developed “subject”, “less-human”, and “non-entity”, in comparison to the “superior human”. This superior species consider themselves as some unquestionable, archetypal representatives and dominators of less-human (women).

Moreover, there is a definite pattern in which an eve teaser behaves. An eve teaser gains confidence when he notices that the girls he abuses do nothing to harm him. He gets even more encouraged by girl’s silence. He enjoys watching the girl spew fiery words on him or squirm in disgust. A lot of times women are told, or a women believes that if they are being mistreated/ being abused they just have to be patient. Being Muslims we need to know what the Prophet (saas), taught us when we see something wrong we should try to change it. He doesn’t say that when you see something wrong be patient and stay quiet about it, but rather “If you see something wrong, try to change it with your hand .If you cannot, speak out against it. And if you cannot, then at the very least feel that in your heart and this is the weakest level of Iman (faith).”Thus, sabr never means being passive against oppression or abuse. How powerful Faiz Ahmad Faiz sounds when he says Speak up for your lips are not sealed; speak up your words are still your own ; Speak up before your mind fades away;…Speak up, Speak up.

And see, “ A man tried to grab her again with so much ease, he did (it) as if he thought she will not utter a word as usual”, she said. However, the attacker clearly didn’t see what was coming this time. Now she was incapable of feeling fear all together. She punched and kicked him till he couldn’t stand up.

“All opinions are that of the author and not necessarily those of the website that it is published under.”

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